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| Ok guys, I know you have been asking forever, so finally here are some pictures of me and Pete on New Years. Yes, I know, I am quite the lucky one:)
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| It is about the journey...not the destination. This life I live is my personal epic painted by the God of the Universe who is passionatly in love with me. I have been through enough vallies and climbed enough mountain peaks to understand that there are seasons for all things, to learn to embrace joy and contentment in all circumstances.
I've been back in America over half a year now...it seems it has all passed me by so fast. I've been learning that God doesn't always make sense--in fact most of the time He doesn't. If His ways were logical, I wouldn't need faith. He has been teaching me to lean on His understanding and not my own. Yes, He has been teaching me this for a long time..first, teaching me to give him my desires, then my plans, and now....the most important relationship one person can have with another...meaning the one I am going to spend the rest of my life with! Yes, that means what you think it does....God has brought an incredible man into my life. A man who loves God more than me, is passionate about reaching and discipling others, passionate about using media to advance the Gospel; a man who is open to going where God leads and putting the call above himself; a man who stands up for what is right and perseveres. In other words...everything I have ever prayed for!
This has to be the biggest leap of faith I have ever made. After committing to God not to date again until I felt I had met the right one, to suddenly feel it is right after being so independent for the last 4 years is a strange thing! I had so many questions...and still do. The main one...What about Europe? If he is a leader in his church and I am supposed to go back to Europe, how can this work?! This question has been eating me alive. Those of you who know me well know my heart, my dreams about media and the UK. It's as though God is beating around the bush with me, saying, "just trust me." Every answer has been coming back the same....live today and go where I lead you daily and let Me worry about working out the future; live in conscience to Me; Lay down your plans and your independence and follow what I am doing in your life now.
I understand for most girls this would be easy...but I guess I am a bit of a different bread than most girls. I haven't been planning my wedding for years, I don't know how many kids I want, in fact...a part of me wants to lve like Paul forever, focused on God alone and not tied to another person. God really corrected me on this outlook. Who am I am resist something God has planned for my life? Especially something as wonderful as this? I guess it is just fear...actually I know it is. Fear of the unknown, fear of making a mistake. But this fear is illogical really. As long as I am seeking God's face everyday I should trust that He will step in and keep me from falling. His plans truely are to prosper and not harm me.
Funny how you just never know what life is going to throw at you. Six months ago I would have told you there was no way on earth that I would be in America today, much less in a relationship! I can't help but ask God...is this the REAL reason you brought me home? I am learning to quit pronouncing my future and learning rather to live out today in the fullness it has to offer. I don't know fully the reason I am home, I don't know how long I will be here or when I will return to Europe. All I know is that God has given me certain dreams and He has promised they will come to pass....He hasn't promised when, He just promised that they will. All I can do is follow the road as it is layed out before me, even if there are twists and turns that I didn't expect or make plans to travel down. The epic lies within each chapter...down to the letters that make up the words.
I cannot try to expalin what is happening in my life right now. All I can do is continue seeking God. I ask you all to do the same for me. I only want God's will for my life, and if this is truely it, then I rejoice greatly!
Thanks guys for your prayers! | | |
| Well, well.... Last Friday I got the final conclusion. I went to Emory for what I thought was going to be a consultation before the surgery. When my surgeon walked in, the first thing she did was warn me of how dangerous this would be, because it is so precisly wraped around my nerves. 50 percent end up with some facial nerve damage, and 10 percent permenant damage. She went on to say that since the cyst showed up negative for cancer and since it is growing at a relatively slow rate, her reccommendation is that we simply keep an eye on it and only opt for sugery when it gets too big to remain there any longer or if suddenly it starts to get infected or something. I was totally surprized! All I have been hearing from day one is that "IT HAS TO COME OUT!" Needless to say though I am quite happy that they are not going to cut my head open just yet:) She said that just depending on how it grows, it may be 6 months, 6 years, or never that I will need the surgery. She did think that more likely than not it will eventually need to be done, but right now it is safest to leave it as it is. She left the decision up to me, but she is the expert so I went with her advice. I don't really think too much about it anymore...I know that it is in God's hands and He can heal me anyway! The past three months I feel have been all about testing my faith...it has def. grown watching God provide the finances for all of the testing! I am still waiting on Emory's response, but it will be yes:) I also feel they have been a means to an end(meaning the thing that brought me to terms with staying home and not going back to Norway).
One big roller coaster! But hey, somethings got to keep you on your toes, lol:)
Aside from that all is gravey. I am still loving my job. I'm loving having "me" time too.
Anyways, that's the latest! | | |
| Epidermil Inclusion Cyst....that is what I've got. I've got to go back to Atlanta to schedule the surgery, so I will let you know when it will be. And on a more exciting note, two amazingly huge prayers have been answered-first, a huge portion of my debt to Jesus Revolution has now been payed off by a woman from Norway who I've never met! And second, I got accepted for financial help from my first hospital! Now I have just got to wait a week or so to find out if I will get it from the hospital I am going to have the surgery at... but I believe I will get a yes from them too:) It is good to watch this huge mess fall into place!
Hmmm...what else is new? Well, my job is going great! I got to go on my first photoshoot the other day:)
This weekend I may be heading to Miami to see Katrine and Renata if all works out~
Basically I am getting back into the swing of a pretty busy lifestyle and enjoying it.
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| So Friday they sent me to Atlanta for a "third opinion" kinda thing. When I got there bright and early the surgeon wanted to do another biopsy and run an MRI. It was kinda strange being at Emory because they didn't seem as concerned as my doctor here in Carrollton was...I am suppossed to find out some definite results within the next few day- they will tell me what they conclude it is from the tests and also if they think surgery needs to be done or not. Since now my surgery would be through them, I have had to apply for financial help from them as well, so keep it in your prayers that I will get it!
Congrats to all my Jesus Revolutionaries! I know today was the "end of the year" graduation.
Even though I cannot be there to say it myself you all know how much I love and miss you! I am gonna try and make it to the New Year Festival in Germany--so if nothing else, see you all there! | | |
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